All shapes, sizes make an appearance at Cross Dress Cabaret

by By Bethany Altschwager

Monday November 14, 2005

Every seat was packed. People were standing in the back and sitting in the aisles during the Queer Variety Coalition’s Annual Sadie Lou Cross Dress Cabaret that rocked Sarah Lawrence College.

The hostesses for the evening, Heather K. Chandelier and Lola Tacón, entertained the audience with wit and frequent costume changes about which Tacón attributes two words: "sugar daddy."
Kim Smith, a visitor to the college raved, "I laughed, I cried, I’d see it again. It was better than Cats."

"I counted over 750 acts of fellatio and 3,000 acts of cunnilingus… And they thought they could [get] rid of the Coming Out Dance," joked Violet Temper, one of the guest judges, before her performance of Avril Lavigne’s "Sk8ter Boi."

This year’s competition was fierce and featured 13 acts judged by Temper; Sumana Chatterjee, director of student activities; Natalie Gross, director of diversity and campus engagement; Keisha Lago, administrative assistant of student affairs; Grant Grastorf, director of college events and Mary Spellman, dean of student affairs. The scores were tabulated while Temper performed, accompanied by two SLC student go-go dancers. Spellman commented that the event "was awesome…The students did a great job."

In the crowning ceremony, reigning drag queen, Cassandra Wild, defended her title and a new comer, the Phantom of the Opera, dethroned the reigning drag king. Wild won over the crowd and judges with her performance in "Beauty and the Bestiality: Welcome to Bronxville." The sexual satire of Belle from Disney’s "Beauty and the Beast" featured Wild in the title role, fellow drag kings and queens in supporting roles and special guest the rabbit vibrator of "Sex and the City" fame. The Phantom similarly thrilled audiences with his parody, "In Dreams She Came," by inducing his co-star to hold onto the high notes at the end of the song.

Among the many talented acts was Treble in Paradise, the campus a cappella group, and their rendition of "No Rain" by Blind Melon, complete with dancing bee.

Karen and Richard perplete with dancing bee. Karen and Richard performed The Carpenters’ "I Won’t Last a Day Without You" with live piano and vocals and received two standing ovations.

There was a Bonnie Tyler double play as well, with Electra Styles performing "I Need a Hero" and Ms. Areola Bendmeova performing a remix of "Total Eclipse of the Heart."

The event also featured The Group Who Cannot be Named in "Drop it Like it’s Hot" by Snoop Dog, Michelle Diamond in "Cain’t Say No" from the musical Oklahoma, Men in Suits in "Bulbous Bouffant" by The Vestibules, Nathan and Nelly in "Every Woman Knows" by Nellie McKay, Bitch Tits in "I Love Little Girls" by Oingo Boingo, duo Lola Tacón with Rico Pingon in the Spanish version of "Barbie Girl" by Aqua, and Manstrual Cycle in "Beautiful" by Christina Aguilera.

In addition to the talented acts, the event also showcased senior Simon Lindquist in pink stiletto heels.