Common Sense: Drink decently

by Hilary Hughes

Wednesday February 22, 2006

The complaints regarding this year’s cancellation of the school’s most extravagant display of drunken debauchery, the Coming Out Dance, were innumerable. However, even in the absence of this infamous Sarah Lawrence tradition, it seems that students all over campus have continued drinking until they can’t remember how many beers or shots they’ve downed. Walks of shame, nights spent nursing the toilet and waking up with blisters from getting your stomach pumped are some of the very unpleasant side effects of this partying lifestyle.

Granted, drinking yourself into a state of oblivion doesn’t always end up with you puking on Kimball or in the emergency room at Lawrence Hospital, but partying conscientiously can allow you to drink yourself into a stupor without ruining your social or natural life. Here are a few guidelines to partying that won’t have you retching all over the front steps of Mansell, the boulders outside a certain Slonim, or the carpet on Garrison C.

Don’t know what’s in it? DON’T DRINK IT.
Any idea what’s in those Jello shots that mysteriously appeared from the bottom shelf of the fridge? Yeah, most people don’t. Someone could think it is hilarious to use moonshine instead of tequila, and before you know it people are being whisked away in an ambulance because they had no idea that they did eight shots of grain alcohol. Ask what’s in the drinks people are mixing before grabbing one. Besides the fact that it could be lethal, it may wind up being the one kind of booze that makes you gag (Campari, anyone?), and no one likes drinking nasty tasting stuff.

“Beer before liquor, never been sicker” = Words of Wisdom.
Mixing is a surefire way to wake up with the worst hangover of your life or covered in your own vomit. Granted, if you play it safe and only drink a couple of beers and do a couple of shots WAY later, your chances of feeling normal the next day are greatly improved. My advice would be to stick to either wine, beer, or hard liquor all evening and to not overdo it. Would you rather be drunk but having a somewhat decent time after only a couple of shots or be smashed and without your basic motor skills? Don’t worry about looking like a pansy if you’re a lightweight; I’ve seen guys drink four beers and be unable to function, so don’t try to push your limit.

Keep an eye on your friends.
If you’re at a party and you see your friends making fools of themselves, do them a favor and help them off the table on which they’re dancing. Walk them home if they look like they’re about to pass out. It’s better that they’re with you rather than some creep or stalker who may wind up taking advantage of the state your friend finds him or herself in. Besides, if you don’t follow the first two rules, you may need the favor returned someday.