Common Sense

When It Comes to Behaving in Bates

by Hilary Hughes

Tuesday March 7, 2006

Some people prefer the Pub or the Health Food Bar, but most everyone on this campus (if on the meal plan and without a kitchen) dines at our beloved Bates at least once a week. There’s nothing better than rolling out of bed on Sunday morning, trudging down that slushy hill and stuffing yourself with comfort food while spending hours rehashing the exploits of the weekend. This dining hall can also feed you for a week, depending on how much Tupperware you can stuff in the kangaroo pocket of your hoodie. But these wholesome, fuzzy-feeling mornings that you’ll remember long after your time at Sarah Lawrence is over can be shattered the second you return to the waffle line only to realize that some jackass swooped in and stole what you’ve been salivating over for twenty minutes. I would like to spread the Bates love by providing you with a few guidelines to dining with a little consideration and politeness:

Never, EVER touch another (wo)man’s waffle. As mentioned above, stealing someone’s waffle from the waffle maker is one of the meanest things you could possibly do. Just wait your damn turn; even if the line is practically at the cereal dispensers, waiting five minutes will only make you appreciate your waffle more. They’re delicious, we get it, but you have no right to wreck someone’s morning. Besides, karma will probably catch up with you eventually, unless everyone reads this column.

Step lively if steppin’ through a window. Say you’re no longer on the meal plan and want to enjoy your fill of the bottomless menu at Bates. If you do, that’s great, but don’t act all huffy expecting people at the table directly beneath the window you’re breaking in through to stop mid-swallow to shield you from the gaze of Denise. Also, watch your feet placement; not only will kicking over someone’s plate make a mess and cause a scene, it’s just rude.

If you spill it, clean it up. Yeah, I know, it is mortifying dropping the contents of your tray—plates, glasses and all—in front of a couple hundred of your closest acquaintances. However, your mortification need not be at the expense of the staff in Bates. It’ll take a few seconds, minutes at most, to pick up the pieces of your demolished crockery or to wipe up that unfortunate mess that used to be a taco. If anything, it’ll give you something to do that’ll conceal your face that’s turning every shade of red and purple the color wheel provides.